You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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