she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
