; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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