I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
