some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
