There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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