im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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