oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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