were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
