Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We named our party play list daddy issues
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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