last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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