I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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