you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
