New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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