well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize