I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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