The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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