I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
