The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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