People in love make me want to vomit
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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