I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
