Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
