Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I looked at my own cervix.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
