I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
