come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
