I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
