tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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