Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
