I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
