I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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