the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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