Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
