Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
