smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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