I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
