I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
