worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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