I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize