Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Welp...herpes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize