you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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