if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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