i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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