She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
