talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
