im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Never joke about your clitoris.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
