i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
