there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
