Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
