the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize