Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
