I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
