Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
