I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Semen is not good for contacts.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
