he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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