Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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