im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
