It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
