so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize