NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
