Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
