At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
