ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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