C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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