he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
