I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
