normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize