then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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