U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
