you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
