How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
