Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
