Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
