i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
