Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize