So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
