he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
